La Capra

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Posts by La Capra

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  18

  Hugely embarrassing afternoon

  by La Capra in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all my co-law clerks were in on it, my boss in the law office i work at was in on it, three of my professors were in on it, half the attorneys in the office were apparently in on it.

  i got hauled into court today, supposedly to watch an attorney appeal a decision on a motion, but no, that's not what happened.

  i walked into a set up, by my boyfriend, to be proposed to, in open court in front of nearly 20 people.

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  La Capra

  All my co-law clerks were in on it, my boss in the law office I work at was in on it, three of my professors were in on it, half the attorneys in the office were apparently in on it. I got hauled into court today, supposedly to watch an attorney appeal a decision on a motion, but no, that's not what happened. I walked into a set up, by my boyfriend, to be proposed to, in open court in front of nearly 20 people. I was so embarrassed, I ran out, before anyone could catch me. They eventually found me. My boyfriend proposed. I said yes. I'm gettin' married. Shoshana
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  16

  Something Good In Your Life

  by Greenpalmtreestillmine in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just thought it would be great to hear from everyone here about something good that's happening in your life.

  so much is said about the watchtower and it needs to be said but i thought it would be nice to hear some good things about our lives.. for me what is good in my life right now is the containers of vegetables and flowers i am looking forward to planting, the fine music i'm listening to at this moment and being here with you all.

  sabrina

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  La Capra

  We have had over a week of record warm temperatures here in Northern California. Now that is wonderfully fabulous. Also, I'm in love. Shoshana
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  10

  Lawsuit FYI

  by avengers in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  suit accuses church official of abuse .

  4 say jehovah's witness church hid crime; .

  man a convicted child molester .

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  La Capra

  I checked with the court files, this lawsuit has been filed. There are numerous plaintiffs (f if I'm recalling correctly), first name and last initial. There are four defendants, Donald Glew, The Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses (I'm assuming Brooklyn), the Santa Rosa Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses, and the Petaluma Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. The attorney mentioned in the article is the attorney of record for plaintiffs with the court, and the defense is scheduled to reply. Nothing else is on the docket yet in this case. I haven't checked to see if the reply has been filed yet. I'll do that next week. Shoshana
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  10

  Lawsuit FYI

  by avengers in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  suit accuses church official of abuse .

  4 say jehovah's witness church hid crime; .

  man a convicted child molester .

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  La Capra

  I work part time in this court. I read the newspaper everyday. I can't believe I missed this. I wonder how many of the proceedings I can get into. I will be following this one closely. I can't wait to see the flippin elders on the stand. Wonder if Bill needs a local clerk that will work for free this summer! Shoshana
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  22

  Whats for dinner?

  by Stefanie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  whats everyone having tonight?

  i could use some ideas.

  if you can please recomend some restaraunts also.

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  La Capra

  I just ordered tortelini al pesto creme (for me) and rigatoni a la marinara (for him) and a meatball (I'm guessing he'll like it) and soup and salad. Since I went to the trouble of ordering it, he's gonna pick it up. I'll just wait here, on my bed with a little cold in my nose. Shoshana
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  7

  Stumbling...

  by astridkittie in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  in another post, someone made a reference to e-watchman's sudden call to duty.

  i went to the link provided and when reading the sample letter decided to check out the 11-22-98 issue of the awake mentioned as being "un propaganda".

  now... the first time i read this, i was shocked that i had read it before without blinking an eye as a jw.

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  La Capra

  Astrid Kittie

  There are therapists that have experience in working with clients who come from high mind-control backgrounds. I can completely relate to the whole "evil" thing, and the nightmares. For me the word was "horrid" less damning than evil, I'll admit, but pretty tough to bear a life of. This type of self-image is one that just doesn't go away without the help of a professional-particularly when recovery is juxtaposed against a background of subtle, well-developed, constant mind-control that shaped us into knowing that we are really evil (and don't measure up). The WTBTS is a text-book example of how to inculcate blind allegience to a cult. They are expert at it. It may take an expert to heal some people from that.

  It takes awhile to "train" a therapist in what it is like being JW. Most people need to be trained in the subtleties of the control, and are shocked by the reality of all the unwritten rules we had to follow. Not many are lucky enough to find an exJW therapist in their neighborhood (like I was)-but that does not mean that a therapist can't become educated. There are links to support groups and therapists at www.freeminds.org that could lead you to referrals in your area.

  I tried antidepressants (they worked while I took them), but nothing took the place of really coming to an honest belief (with actual evidence) that I was not horrid, and finding tools for countering the times when the struggle returns. Antidepressants are appropriate to survive rough patches, but if it is the fallout from being a JW that is the ultimate root of a significant portion of the depression, then you will eventually have to confront that with some psychotherapy. It really can work. But it won't be overnight.

  Take care, Shoshana
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  8

  Need additional info on JW Dating and Singles page

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just put up a new page and if you can please check it out.

  it is the result of just checking into this "singles" scene the last couple of days, so i may be missing a lot of what's out there, so if you have any suggestions or links, other sites, etc.

  please respond.

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  La Capra

  Hi Randy,

  I noticed you left out JWD's own favorite JW dating site JWmatch.com. It appears to be far more committed to keeping non-JWs away, but people from this site seem to have infiltrated that place as well.

  Shoshana
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  13

  Money and the Meetings a Problem?

  by Blueblades in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  a friend of ours was told that he/she would be taken off as the beneficiary of a large amount of money unless he/she would come back to the meetings and go out in the field service.. our friend has been fading for quite some time now.the person who put him/her as beneficiary won't have anything to do with him/her unless he/she comes back to the meetings and participates in the field service.. he/she will not be bribed and will lose the large amount of money he/she stands to gain because of refusing to be compromised as to what is known about the society now.. his/her friend only knows that he/she has family and personal concerns as the reason he/she don't go to meetings anymore.letting the friend know the real reasons would certainly be cause for him/her to be removed as the beneficiary of a large amount of money.. our advice to him/her was to be true to ones self even though this would be financially difficult.. the reason we are putting the person as him/her is to protect the identity of the individual friend of ours.. we would appreciate some of your thoughts concerning this matter.. blueblades

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  La Capra

  There is no guarantee that

  1) returning to the meetings will mean the would-be beneficiary would be reinstated, or remain as such.

  2) the benefactor will maintain obligations keeping in tact the trust, life insurance, will, etc. that would ensure a distribution.

  3) the benefactor won't establish the distribution of the contents of the funds through a trust with conditions requiring continued meeting attendance.

  4) the benefactor won't threaten to remove the would-be beneficiary for the next manipulative demand.

  Try this. "Give me the money now, and then I'll come back." Beneficiary will be told there is no guarantee that he'll continue with meeting attendance. To this beneficiary could say, there's no guarantee that the will won't be changed either.

  It would be unfortunate to compromise or sacrifice ones needs on something that has no guarantees on a future payoff based on someone else's generosity, largesse or flat out manipulation. One ought never be cowed by threats to be removed as an heir or beneficiary, because the source of that money is always someone else's hard work, not the beneficiary's. If it's viewed that way, it might be easier to swallow.

  People in general would be a lot happier if they kept their eyes on their own papers and forgot about what they may get the easy way. Living by your own rules is better than anything else. I wouldn't waste my time with this relative, she is cruel, manipulative, and should know better, for "Jehovah knows the true heart condition."

  Shoshana
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  13

  Are things REALLY getting worse? JWs are so pessimistic...

  by somebodylovesme in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  one of the things that always puzzled me about the witnesses' doctrine was this idea that we are living in the worst time the world has ever seen - that the twentieth century has surpassed all others in death and destruction.

  am i only the only crazy fool who thinks we have it pretty good?.

  a hundred years ago, people died from diseases that are easily treated today.

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  La Capra

  I loved when they would come to the door with this spiel-about how bad things were. I set up your exact same examples, somebody, talking about how through the ages the typical human being suffered far more, during a far shorter life, than we do now, even in third world countires, where disease, famine and high death rates are still present.

  The fact is that until the 20th century, most people, unless they were sinfully rich, were basically slaves, working their whole lives for basic needs, and not a whole lot more. If they ventured about, they ran a very likely risk of being robbed in their travels, and left for dead. There was never enough food, water or basic shelter and clothing that could be kept clean and comfortable. Most people were governed or ruled by some sort of tyranny, be it a baron, lord, bishop or dictator.

  There was far more war and violence as neighboring tribes and ethnic groups battled for land and supremacy-raping and pillaging along the way. Proportionally, far more people died as a result of those fracases than soldiers do now, thanks to modern medicine and nutrition.

  No one was educated, and if you were lucky enough to be born a male, then maybe, just maybe, you could get learn to read (if you became a priest or monk).

  Most people did not have the basic human rights that we now consider necessities.

  The weather and the earthquakes are not more severe than they ever have been.

  Well, I must have rattled on like this for several minutes, giving lots of examples of regimes, time periods, and well known brutalities and human injustice. I finally stopped to catch my breath by asking the person who was unlucky enough to ring my doorbell with that presentation whether she really believed that times are worse now than ever. She still did.

  So I said this: "Well then, consider this. If it were 2000 years ago and you came up to me trying to convert me, say on some road out of the city, and I wanted to beat you to a bloody pulp, I daresay, not much would happen to me, but you'd have no modern medical care to set your bones, no antibiotics for all you cuts and abrasions, and no one would haul me to jail for assaulting you, would they, afterall you're just a woman...." She looked scared for a second, then realized I was being ironic. She went on to the next door. I bet she used a different spiel there. In fact, I bet she never used the critical-times-hard-to-deal-with spiel ever again.

  Shoshana
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  22

  Fruits of the Spirit, which is hardest for you?

  by dh in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self control.

  which do you find most difficult?.

  (please correct me if i got them wrong, it's been a while since my mom made me recite them)

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  La Capra

  Up until about a year ago, I was getting pounded by joy-not an easy one. Pouring my heart and soul into law school and making a bit of a success of it helped. One must invest in one's joy, I've discovered...But my next hardest one is kindness, the good news is that as I have begun mastering joy, the kindness seems to be more natural. I still have to remind myself to be kind more often than I am pleased to admit. Joy and Kindness-those are my bears. Shoshana